Darwin Award Winners of 2005

I recieved these from a friend of mine via email. Some of these might even make old P.T. Barnum ("A sucker born every minute.") shake his head. Thanks Patti Sonz!

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here then, are the glorious winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked..... And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for him self. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
"Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your friends and family, unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

Morning Reading

PebblePie reads cereal boxes and notes a curious situation with the calorie count of Honey Nut Cheerios and regular Cheerios.

I too read cereal boxes and the Honey Nut Cheerios box has peaked my ire more than curiosity. Not with their calorie lists, oh no. It’s something more important than that. It’s about Baseball, Apple Pie and America!

General Mills runs a comic on the back of the HNC box that shows Buzz (the hero bee) being called upon to pitch for the hive and strike out the oppositions slugger to win the game. Buzz does all that with one pitch that is heavily laden with sticky honey. The ball—and Buzz’ hand—are so coated with honey that the sticky stuff pulls the ball back to Buzz as though it were an elastic band and the hitter is left swinging at empty space. Buzz gets carted off the field as the hero of the game.

But, and here’s where I get angry, BUZZ IS A CHEATER! The rules of baseball clearly prohibit the use of any foreign substance on the ball! Buzz should not be a celebrated hero he should be fined and suspended for violation of the Rules of Baseball! (And where does the home team get to go into the stands for a player in the middle of the game? Sheesh!) And yet, this comic panel has been running for over a year. What kind of message does the cartoon image of a cheater being celebrated as a hero send? Would Wheaties boxes have pictures of athletes banned from competition for rules violations? I think not! General Mills should be demoted.

Dumb Crooks, part 2

Now this guy had a bad day.

A woman didn't have to look far to figure out who likely broke into her home and took a camera from her purse. Police said the burglar left behind his probation and parole card.

I would have loved to have been the judge at his arraignment.

Via Yahoo! News.

Mmmm, Chocolate!

Now here’s a medical report I can get along with.

Leave it to the Dutch to help demonstrate the health benefits of chocolate. A study of older men in The Netherlands, known for its luscious chocolate, indicated those who ate the equivalent of one-third of a chocolate bar every day had lower blood pressure and a reduced risk of death.

What’s the science behind the improvement in health?

This time, researchers examined the eating habits of 470 healthy men who were not taking blood pressure medicine. The men who ate the most products made from cocoa beans — including cocoa drinks, chocolate bars and chocolate pudding — had lower blood pressure and a 50 percent lower risk of death.

Cocoa beans contain flavanols, which are thought to increase nitric oxide in the blood and improve the function of blood vessels.

Of course the study was of healthy men and there are a lot of women who want to know if it works for them too. According to Brian Buijsse, a nutritional epidemiologist at Wageningen University in The Netherlands, who co-authored the study

"If you look at the other interventional studies, you see the same effects in men and women, younger people and older people. It may be the findings are generalizable to women, but you never know."

I’m something of a binge chocoholic. I can go for days without but then find myself downing a 1-pound bag of M & Ms or box of malted milk balls in an afternoon.

Despite that, when I went in for surgery on my back and knee the doctors commented upon my low BP and pulse rate. Is there a connection? I hope so!

Via Yahoo! News

Rutgers 48 Connecticut 42.

With the victory over No. 8/6 Connecticut, No. 7/8 Rutgers ends the regular season as Champions of the Big East. And they did it while shooting just 26%.

It's difficult to believe, but RU trailed by as many as 18 points in the first half and never held the lead until Cappie Pondexter sank a 3-pointer with 6:35 remaining in the game to give the Knights a 42-41 edge. Pondexter finished the game with 26 points.

UConn scored just 12 points in the second half and just one in the final 11:38.

(Game Story and stats here.)

Rutgers ends the season 24-3 and a perfect 16-0 in the Big East.
Connecticut falls to 26-4 and is 14-2 in the Big East.

Rutgers’ Big East Tournament starts on Sunday March 5th in Hartford, Connecticut. Their opponent has yet to be determined.

Knights Down Bulls 62-44Strengthen Big East Chances

Rutgers had a 7-6 lead early on and then went on a 14-0 run. Rutgers extended the lead to 26-8 and never looked back. The closest the Bulls would come during the rest of the game was 11 points.

While RU started very hot, they cooled down after the first ten minutes. Neither team had a very high shooting percentage. South Florida shot only 31.5% (17-54) while Rutgers managed just 33.9% (19-56) from the field. The difference was at the charity stripe where RU made 16-21 to the Bulls 6-8, and beyond the 3-point line where RU made 8-19 to South Florida's 4-12.

Quincy Douby had 23 points and 10 rebounds for his second career double-double. He has now scored 20 or more points in 21 or RU’s 27 games this season. Marquis Webb contributed 15 points.

Marvin Buckley and James Holmes each had 14 points for the Bulls.

The 44 points scored by South Florida are the fewest allowed by the Scarlet Knights since a 49-47 victory on January 29, 1997 over St. John’s.

(Game Story and stats here.)

Rutgers is now 16-12, 6-9 in the Big East.
South Florida remains winless in their first season in the Big East with a 0-14 record, 6-21 overall.

Rutgers ends its regular season at St. John’s on Sunday, March 5th at 2:00 PM.

Rutgers’ Women Win 23rd Consecutive Big East Game

Cappie Pondexter’s 23 points led the No. 7 Scarlet Knights to their 23rd consecutive Big East victory this afternoon as they defeated the Pittsburgh Panthers 65-50. Rutgers clinched a tie for the Big East title with the victory and can capture the number one seed in the Big East tournament with a victory over Connecticut on Monday.

Rutgers took control early with a 9-2 run as they jumped out to a 15-8 lead. Pitt fought back to close it to 19-16 but couldn’t overtake the Knights who never relinquished the lead.

Matee Ajavon contributed 14 points, while Essence Carson on 5-8 shooting added 10 and Mariota Theodoris came off the bench to add 10 points and had 11 rebounds.

Marcedes Walker led all scorers with 24 points on 7 for 18 from the field and 10 for 13 from the free-throw stripe for the losing Panthers. Mallorie Winn was the only other double-digit scorer with 12.

Rutgers improves to 23-3 and 15-0 in the Big East.
Pittsburgh falls to 18-8 and 9-6 in the Big East.

Rutgers next takes to the court against Connecticut at the RAC on Monday, February 27 at 7:30 PM. The game will be broadcast on ESPN2.

(Game Story and stats here.)

Hybrid Autos

Terry will need a new car in a year or two to replace her 10 year-old Lumina (I just hope my truck won’t need replacement, too.) and we have discussed a possible hybrid in our future. After looking at this article (The Top 10 Hybrid Myths), I would say that the possibility is closer to reality. We’ll just have to see where things are two years from now.

"I was really hotter than a pistol!"

You might say that!

Here’s a real nice story out of upstate NY:

Autistic Team Manager Makes Hoop Dream Come True
High School Senior Scores 20 Points in Waning Moments of His Only Game

The kid made six (6) three-pointers (6-10 shooting) and would have had a seventh but his foot was on the line. And he did it all in the last four minutes of the game!


Well done Jason McElwain!

Perspective

As I sat on the shoulder of Route 17 yesterday I was thankful that I was pretty much alone at the time the tire decided to go off on its own. With the exception of another car some 1/4-mile behind me there was no one in view. Being a divided highway with two lanes each way and a very wide median also made that particular stretch much safer than others. The tire rolled off the shoulder instead of heading on to the median and then down hill to the west bound lanes of the highway. Add the fact that the fields on the shoulder sloped ever so gently upward meant the tire, when it finally rolled to a stop, rested in an area where it could be easily retrieved. I can’t say I was lucky but things could have been a hell of a lot worse.

I also thought of the trips made with a travel trailer and thought of how much more complicated the situation might have been!

Having been a casual observer of the Daytona 500 last Sunday, I also remembered seeing tires going down the track at far greater speeds than those At which I was traveling and couldn't imagine what it would be like to be going 180+mph and watching your rear tire pass you! It's scary--and surreal--enough at 60 mph.

Best Laid Plans or Sh*t Happens

So, I got up bright and early this morning, got myself dressed, heated a cup of coffee in my travel mug and headed out to PA to drop off some stuff before swinging north to the cabin to drop off even more stuff.

I wasn’t on the road for more than 20 minutes when I heard that awful sound of air hissing from a tire and then the thump-thump-thump of a flat. The driver’s side rear tire on the truck was flatter than a pancake. I was on I-80 west bound just past the Route 15 interchange in Morris County. It was dark. It was cold. It was 5:20 AM. I had a backseat full of stuff for PA and NY that had to be off loaded so I could get to the jack and tire irons. Luckily I had a flashlight and a crushable felt hat to serve as a flashlight holder.

Five minutes to unload the seat and reach the tools. Five minutes to lower the spare from beneath the truck bed. Two minutes to jack up the tire. Five minutes to remove the lug nuts and flat tire. Five minutes to hoist the spare into place and tighten the lug nuts again. Two minutes to hook up the flat and winch it back into place. Two minutes to lower the truck off the jack. Five minutes to load everything back into the truck.

About half an hour lost to changing a flat tire. The rest of the trip to PA was uneventful and I was unloading stuff into the storage unit by 9:00 and finishing by 9:30. A light snow began to fall while I was unloading the truck. After a quick stop at the post office to pick up our mail, I headed northeast via Routes 6 and 220. I stopped for gas in Athens, PA and checked the tire I had put on that morning. Everything looked and felt fine.

Ten miles or so down the road I was heading east on Route 17 and had just crossed the Susquehanna River in near white-out conditions as the snow thickened when there was a thump and the left rear quarter of the truck settled to the ground with a metallic shriek. As I veered onto the road’s shoulder I saw the left rear tire continue on its way down the centerline of the roadway. A car coming up behind me slowed and followed the tire about a quarter mile before the tire rolled off the right shoulder and rested in the grass.

It was just after 11 AM and I wasn’t going anywhere soon. I called 911 to report the need for assistance. In the now definitely white-out that existed at the time, I figured it was an emergency. I had no flares and didn’t relish the idea of another vehicle smacking into the rear of the truck. I retrieved the tire and a few minutes later a state trooper pulled in behind me. He looked over the situation and called for a flatbed tow vehicle to haul my sorry truck to a repair shop in Waverly, NY. By noon I was providing the shop manager with contact information and then calling my insurance agency to report the accident and arrange for an assessment of the damage. The shop manager also called to arrange for a rental car from enterprise Car Rental in Athens, PA. They would come and pick me up and drive me back to the office to complete the paperwork.

By 1 PM I was on my way in a low mileage Chevy Cobalt heading for Route 17 again but this time to head back to NJ. Delivery of the stuff to the Adirondack cabin will have to wait for another day. Hopefully it won’t be to far into the future.

The rental vehicle is going to cost me around $350 for a week—I hope it won’t be longer—and I have no idea what the repairs to the truck will cost. I’ve a $500 deductible for collision (I think that is where it fits) so this little episode is going to cost me over a grand. And I was all set to get some new tires next week before the sh*t hit the fan today since the current tires have approximately 55K miles on them and were looking a little thin for good traction in the snow of the Adirondacks or the soon to be mud of PA’s Northern Tier. Heck, mud season will soon be here in the Adirondacks, too. It usually arrives around the Ides of March even if it can (and usually does) continue to snow through April and May. Figure the tires are going to cost me around $600 and this was a very expensive day.

RU Women Down Marquette 71-50

The Scarlet Knights began a two-game road trip, taking on Marquette in Milwaukee this evening. Rutgers controlled the game from early on and maintained their dominance all game. Guards Matee Ajavon (18 points) and Essence Carson (12 points) provided the bulk of the scoring for the RU squad in the first half but once again Cappie Pondexter came to life in the second half ending with 20 points.

No. 7/8 Rutgers improves to 22-3, 14-0 Big East.
Marquette falls to 17-8, 8-6 in the Big East.

Rutgers completes their road trip Saturday afternoon (February 25) at 2:00 PM facing the Pittsburgh Panthers.

Georgetown Hoyas RU 66-50

It was a looooong night for the Scarlet Knights’ men’s basketball team. Only Quincy Douby could be counted upon to do any scoring and even he had to do much of it at the foul line. Douby ended the game with 29 points.
He did get some help in the rebounding category from Byron Joynes who played a strong game on the boards despite facing a very tall Hoya front line.

No. 23 Georgetown took charge early, erasing RU’s opening 2-point lead and surging out to a 14 point lead at the half (34-20) and to a 16 point lead early in the second half. While they went back and forth for just a tiny bit in the second half, RU was never able to mount any real offense other than Quincy Douby. As a team, RU shot just 31% from the field.

For Georgetown, 7’ 2” sophomore center Roy Hibbert recorded 25 points.

Rutgers falls to 15-12, and is 5-9 in the Big East.
#23 Georgetown improves to 18-7, and 9-5 in the Big East.

Rutgers limps home to play at the RAC against South Florida on Sunday, February 26 at 2:00PM.

Washington’s Birthday?

Today we celebrate the birth of George Washington. Well, we don’t…not really…not any more. Now that we have Presidents’ Day, Lincoln and Washington get lumped together for one Monday in February. Lincoln, of course, was born on February 11th.

Actually, if you had attended George Washington’s birth back in 1732, the calendar on the wall in Westmoreland County, Virginia would have shown the day to be…February 11th! Just like Lincoln!

Why, then do we say he was born on February 22nd? Well, that calendar on the wall in his mother’s room was not the calendar being used around the world. There were two calendars in usage in 1732. The Julian Calendar was used by much of the Protestant world while the Gregorian Calendar had been in use by much of the Catholic world since 1582. (The difference in the two lies in when they celebrate Leap Year. The Julian has one every 4 years while the Gregorian has one every 4 years except in century years unless they are divisible by 400.) The Julian Calendar ran slow in comparison to the Gregorian Calendar and was by the time of Washington’s birth some 11 days behind. The British (stubborn as always) finally adopted the Gregorian Calendar in 1752 (British Calendar Act of 1751*) at which time the 20 year-old George Washington celebrated the anniversary of his birth one full year (365 days) after his last birthday celebration—on February 22nd—and he celebrated his birth ever after on the 22nd.

*The British Calendar Act of 1751 was interesting in that it made the transition from the Julian Calendar to the Gregorian Calendar by removing 11 days from the year. September 3-13 of 1752 did not exist in the British world.

Log Home Update: Permit and Ground Breaking

I spoke to Don, our general contractor, earlier in the week. He has submitted the building plans to the township building inspector and he expects to have a building permit in hand before the month is out. Once he has that, it will be time to break ground for the foundation. The weather has been cooperative on that count. When Terry and I were out last Thursday, no snow lay on the ground at the building site and noe has fallen since nor is any predicted for the next week.

I can’t wait. Once the hole is started, it will seem like a reality.

Of course we also have to put the NJ house on the marked soon. We’ll be contacting a realtor on March 1st for that purpose.

More Stuff to Go; And Painting Too

We’ve been doing a lot of packing and tomorrow I make a long triangular trip to PA and then NY with boxes of stuff for storage and the cabin. It’s 230 miles to PA and then another 230 from the to the cabin in NY. In between I’ll be unloading about half the truck to put crystal and photos in the storage unit. If I get an early start in the morning, I could be at the cabin before sunset (around 5:40 PM tomorrow). I’ll stay over night and unload the remaining stuff on Friday morning.

In between filling boxes I’ve been painting. The dining room is finished and that was the most difficult room having three colors to deal with. There was the ceiling white (also used on the walls above the chair rail), a bright blue below the chair rail, and then the chair rail and the base molding in bright white. The downstairs hall got its ceiling painted, so it too is finished. I also painted the ceiling of our bedroom so it is done. Finally, I painted the ceiling in Terry’s downstairs sewing room and replacing a section of base molding we had taken out some years ago, finishing that room. While I was doing the painting, Terry has been packing up much of the glassware we had on display in the dining room hutch.

I have to say that I really, really hate painting white-on-white. You can never tell when you’ve covered an area when the base is the same color. If you’re lucky age has changed the shade of white (it gets grimy after many, many years) or the shade of white is just ever so slightly different from the base color and you can see where you’ve been applying the new paint. You can’t always count on the glistening of the wet paint. Sometimes it is so shiny that it blinds you to small areas where the roller may have left a partial gap—and that’s not going to be visible until the paint dries, usually after you’ve cleaned up for the day.

While I’m on my long run, Terry and Jessica will be taking more of Jess’ stuff to Grandma’s house on Thursday. Terry will then take a couple of boxes of computer stuff to the county recycling center for disposal.

When I get back home on Friday evening, it will be time to seriously work on my wood working shop. While this trip will take some of the scrap lumber and a few tools, there’re still a number of bench tools I can take out and more than a little wood for scroll saw projects I have planned.

Sic ‘em!

You know, it’s just possible that lawyers could be useful in the War on Terrorism.
Injured Soldier, Widow of Slain Medic Win $102.6 Million Judgment for Afghanistan Attack
Injured Soldier, Widow of Slain Medic Win $102.6 Million Judgment for Afghanistan Attack

Maybe we could bankrupt the SOBs out of existence.

h/t Glenn Reynolds at Instapundit

Rutgers’ Women Win Streak at 9

The No. 7 Scarlet Knights continued their dominance of the Big East this afternoon by defeating the Syracuse Orange 60-43. It was their ninth state victory.

Five Rutgers players scored in double figures lead by Michelle Campbell and Cappie Pondexter with 13 points each. Matee Ajavon and Essence Carson had 11 each and Kia Vaughn added 10.

Vaughn also provided a much needed presence inside grabbing 9 rebounds and holding Vadia Sipaviciute to just 8 points for Syracuse.

Ajavon had six steals helping RU force 16 turnovers.

(Game Story and stats here.)

Rutgers is now 21-3 and remains undefeated in the Big East 13-0.
Syracuse falls to 9-15, 2-11 in the Big East.

Rutgers travels to Marquette for a Wednesday night game with tip-off at 8:00 PM. Then they are at Pittsburgh on Saturday with a 2:00 PM start. Their final game of the season will be at home in the RAC against Connecticut on Monday, February 27th at 7:30 PM in a game to be televised on ESPN2.

Curl!

If you’ve curling has attached itself to your soul as it has mine, you’ll be interested in two things.

The USA Men’s Curling Team has a web site (portions are a little out of date because—well, they have been busy lately) with pictures of and information about the team and its competition.

Then there is the U.S. Women’s Team. They haven’t been doing too well with several heartbreaking losses. They’ll need help from other teams but could still make the medal round.

Then there’s Jonathan Coulton. He has been writing songs and posting them on a weekly basis. Here’s one he wrote a couple of weeks ago for the US men’s curling team. It’s simply called Curl and it is cool.

Curling (at Wikipedia)

Rutgers Defeats USF Bulls, 65-51

In a must win situation, the Scarlet Knights traveled to Tampa to play the University of South Florida. They scored early and often. Opening a 14-point lead by half time and never giving any back, the Knights maintained their advantage winning 65-51.

Big East leading scorer, Quincy Douby had 33 points to lead all scorers.

Rutgers (15-11, 5-8) also received a tremendous floor game from freshman guard Anthony Farmer, who tallied 15 points, grabbed a career-high seven rebounds and dished out two assists while still feeling the effects sof [sic] a bruised right shoulder. Junior swingman Marquis Webb added 10 points, five rebounds and twwo [sic] assists and played a major role in an RU defensive effort that limited the Bulls to 34.8% shooting from the field.

(Game Story and stats here.)

Rutgers is now 15-11, 5-8 in the BIG EAST.
South Florida falls to 6-19 and 0-12 in the BIG EAST.

After dealing with questions about Gary Waters’ status all week, the road victory (something RU has had problems with in the past) had to have been a satisfying one. Coupled with a loss by St. John’s earlier in the day, the win boosts Rutgers’ chances of advancing to the Big East Tournament at Madison Square Garden in March. The loss virtually guarantees South Florida will be one of the four teams not invited to participate.

Rutgers’ next game is against Georgetown in Washington, DC on Wednesday, February 22 with a 7:30 PM tip-off.