Got this list of wise observations from a friend of Terry's via email.
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger. [Too bad sleep is not cumulative and can't be paid forward, i.e. 10 hours tonight will make up for only 4 hours next Thursday. Instead, you can only "pay" back what you've missed--if you have the time.]
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. [Jeeze, ya think? /sarc]
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? [The only reason fitted sheets were invented were to save about a foot wide strip of material on each sheet that would normally be tucked under the mattress. That and to annoy the hell out of people trying to fold them.]
6. Was learning cursive really necessary? [Lost art of the 19th century...maybe early 20th, too.]
7. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure
I know how to get out of my neighborhood. [And MQ usually provides the most ridiculous means of doing so.]
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died. [If your not family, is there any other reason to read them?]
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. [See #3 above.]
10. Bad decisions make good stories. [Hoo-boy! Do they ever. The best you can hope for is to be an observer of someoneelse's bad decision.]
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the
rest of the day. [As a teacher, it was usually in the first class period, during the morning announcements...or when the wake-up alarm went off on any day when there were district-wide faculty meetings.]
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray ? I
don't want to have to restart my collection...again. [Dude! I'm so with you on this one! I've still got a shelf full of LPs and even 45s, not to mention the boxes of VHS tapes.]
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if
I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did
not make any changes to. [And I thought I was the only one who panicked when this happens.]
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this -
ever. ['Nuff said.]
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn
it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run
away? [I start to worry they were trying to call me to say they were having a heart attack or something.]
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. [Don't forget Tequila in Margaritas. And jello shooters. Definitely jello shooters.]
21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw
it. [Old age means every movie ever made is fresh and new all over again. I can't remember if I saw "It's a Wonderful Life" or "Christmas Story" or "The Princess Bride".]
22. I'd rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take
2 trips to bring my groceries in. [It's an efficiency thing. I mean, you make the shopping list so you don't have to go to the store over and over again to pickup forgotten items, right? Same principal. One trip and you're done.]
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to
finish a text. [One of those new fangled skills I've yet to entangle myself with. Sure, my cell can do it...but not alone.]
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger. [That's why there are hobbies like beading and fly-tying. Things that will keep your hands busy and eyes focused anywhere but the fridge.]
25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear or understand or care about a word they
said? [What?]
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to
prevent an ass from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and
sisters! [Right on!]
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get
dirty, and you can wear them forever. [When they can walk to the laundry room on their own, they can get washed. And not a day (week?) sooner!]
28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but
no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. [And joggers with iPods--on narrow roads--running with the traffic.]
31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not
know what time it is.
32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -
but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3
feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! [See #s 3 and 9 above.]
Amen, brother! I'd seen many of those before, but someone has been busy & added another 10 or so.
ReplyDelete#31 is particularly problematic, but I've paid attention to when that happens: it's always when someone is talking to me, and I pay more attention to what they say than to remembering the time.
Then, of course, they get upset that I keep looking at my watch while they're talking.
Maybe it's the lack of nap, again.