I’m beginning to feel like farookin’ Moses! The weather gurus got together today and forecast thunderstorms in the vicinity of the Aerie and I’ve been watching the time lapse maps at weather.com and accuweather.com all afternoon waiting for it to happen. Large swaths of storms would appear on the map to our west and they would be forecast as heading east at 15 miles an hour or so. I would guess at the distance and think, okay, in about an hour we’re really going to be in for it because those bright yellow and red cells will be bringing their 40 mph winds right through here.
I would watch that line of storms inch their way towards us and as they did so they would part like the freakin’ Red Sea! Or they would just thin and thin and finally disappear to our west only to rise up again stronger than ever to the east! For a while it was like we were living inside a dome or something.
At six o’clock I got pretty excited about our chances. A national weather advisory was issued and everything. Four or five very large dots of yellow and red appeared on a line 50 miles to our west and they were marching directly to the east following Route 6 like the Four Horseman headed for the Apocalypse. “Aha!” I said to myself, “Surely this one will hit us pretty good!?”
An hour goes by and as I watch the maps and hit refresh every five minutes, the red fades to yellow and then dark green and finally a light green as they get just 5 miles to our east. But the radar shows there is still rain there. I mean it’s green, right? HA!
A tiny gap appears in the rapidly thinning line of showers and it is passing right over the Aerie! Finally, ALL of the green in that line of storms that triggered the national weather advisory posted on weather.com fades into nothingness. And we get NOT. ONE. DROP. of needed rain.
But, wait! 15 minutes after that line disappears as it approaches from the west, it reappears not five miles to our east heading away from us. Fist as a thin little pale green line and then it grows darker and yellow and….
Rev. Paul of Way Up North calls them Accu-Hunch. And has opined: “I almost wish I had gone into meteorology, so I could get paid for being wrong all the time. I wonder if they even show up for work, or just e-mail their guesses.”
Yep. Sounds about right. But I really can’t blame everything today on the weather gurus as the weather gods seem to have been playing nob with them and me as well. I must have done something to piss them off. Maybe I need to wash the truck or something. Plan a picnic in the yard? Sacrifice a virgin? (Nah, too hard to find one.) I am about ready to load up my muzzleloader with a blank charge and fire it at the clouds, however. Either that or start a real smoky bonfire.
8 comments:
"They are clouds without rain, blown along by the wind; autumn trees, without fruit and uprooted—twice dead."
Amazingly, they had forecasters in the New Testament!
Apparently the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle applies to weather, too: you can't observe it without changing it.
Or perhaps Doppler radar isn't nearly as wonderful as it's cracked up to be...
Either way, the overpaid guessers have quite a racket going.
Aah, but how accurate were they Joan? Now those OLD Testiment guys were pretty good with their forecasts of frogs and locusts and forty days and nights of rain, etc. But then they had a direct line to THE Big Guy.
Rev. Paul, I just don't know which it is, but Heisenberg certainly applies. That or some dang butterfly somewhere flapped its wings at the wrong moment.
I had a talk with the creator the other morning and let her know in no uncertain terms that all this flora I planted was gonna die if she didn't get some water on it and pretty damn quick..I reckon she paid some attention to my cusssin' for a change..we got about an inch over the past four days..not much at a time but every little bit helps.
Mother Nature is one cruel bitch sometimes..I think she does this drought thing just to tick me off..
then laughs when I go ta cussin'
There were big rain storms in northern michigan last night - maybe you're due for the next one!
We have been needing rain as well and the rain showers have been few and far between the last few months. I expect that will change as my son and I are leaving tomorrow for a week long fishing trip.
JDP
Aah, but if you leave to go fishing, won't it just rain where you are and not at home where you say you need it? At least that's my experience. Heck, it even rains on the side of the lake I'm fishing on and not on the other side where the cabin is located. Turth! Ask my son. He got wet with me and will tell you about what happened when, in the midst of a heavy shower, I said, "Well, it can't get worse than this." It hailed.
No doubt you are right Joated, I am sure the drought will continue back home but no doubt a monsoon will hit us in East Texas as soon as we get out on the lake. When we went to this same place four years ago, we got blown off the lake by a June thunderstorm packing heavy rains and sixty mph winds.
JDP
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