Saturday, March 15, 2008

Primaries! Bah! Humbug!

Iowa held caucuses for the Democratic nominee today. What? You thought they did all their stuff back in January? Nope. I tell ya this whole primary schtick is getting as complicated as the MLB, NFL, NHL and NBA playoffs.

First, damn few are eliminated right away. Even when they get only a couple of percentage points of the vote the erstwhile candidate will stay in the race for weeks upon weeks. Second, things have been see-sawing back and forth on the Democrat bracket more than the last two minutes of a close NBA game. You know the two minutes that go on and on and on… Third, Obama’s Preachergate has put him on the ropes losing 7 points overnight in the Rasmussen polls. (Just like when the Mets crashed and burned on their way to the playoffs last year.) Finally, even when it looks like there’s a winner, there may be some wildcards (super delegates) that come into play at the last minute and screw things up royally.

Why some group of allegedly intelligent persons should come up with the slap-dash pile of excrement such as the Democratic primary rules and methods of operation is beyond me.

Individual states (Michigan and Florida) break the rules and yet there’s still talk of letting them have a do over? Why? Oh, because if you don't, you'll have people talking about how you disenfranchised a whole bunch of people on your own side.

States have both primaries where individuals—read “registered voters”—pull the lever in secret to make a selection AND caucuses where they can be locked out of a room (so they can't make their voices heard); or locked into a room where they're herded into corners, cajoled and taunted in public by neighbors and strangers. Sometimes this happens on the same day (Texas) and some times weeks apart (Iowa). And this makes sense?

Going back to those registered voters for a moment. They don’t even have to be registered as Democrats to select the Democratic nominee. It’s called an “open primary.” Again, this makes sense?

Oh and this proportionality thing…just how does that work again? If you win a congressional district that voted for the Democratic candidate last time round, you get more delegates than if you win one where the Democratic nominee fared poorly back in 2004? Is that right? What the hell happened to everyone’s vote counting the same? You can win the entire state by hundreds of thousands of votes, win it 60% to 40%, but because they were not the right votes, you end up with just a couple more delegates than your opponent.

I take it back. The pro sports’ playoffs are easier to understand.

Virtually all the Republican primaries have been winner take all (win the state by one (1) vote and you get all the delegates) secret ballots of registered Republican voters. The way voting is supposed to be done. That’s why John McCain can sit back and watch the self destruction of the Democratic Party. It’s like getting a bye for the first two weeks of a three week playoff schedule. You know the one that eventually advances to face you will have had the tar knocked out of him/her. You just have to make sure not to come out tense and rusty, and give it you’re a-game when the time comes.

I’d like to see all the primaries scratched. Replace them with a national primary held in March. Make it a primary in which the top two or three go on (have to have received 25% or more of the votes cast to advance) to a run-off primary in June. And make the primaries closed affairs. If you’re picking a candidate for a particular party, then you need to be registered in advance for that party. If you can’t be bothered to register for a party in advance, tough shit, you don’t get to vote in the primary. Award the delegates on a winner take all scheme or, and I’m open to discuss this, upon one per congressional district and the winner of that district gets that delegate and two for the state to be awarded to the candidate that gets the most votes in the state.

The whole process needs to be streamlined and cleaned up.

Oh, and ditch the freakin’ super delegates. If it turns out they determine the selection (as they will) in Denver, there’s going to be hell to pay.

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